Just Celebrated An Amazing 45th Birthday

I had an amazing 45th Birthday on Thursday, September 19, 2013.  I referenced this birthday in a previous post,  called it my "forty-fine" birthday.  I had made plans over a year ago that when I got to this one I would have dropped the 100 pounds.  Well life happened, I had some ups and downs but on my birthday I still felt "forty-fine". Some people even told me I definitely looked "forty-fine", lol.  See like many others, my weight loss journey has being affected by significant personal challenges which I had been struggling with for several years but earlier this year, I finally faced and addressed a major one.  In my January 13, 2013 blog post, I concluded as usual with a few quotes and this was one of them: 

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” ― Harvey Fierstein

I'm so thankful after having a great 45th Birthday, that I had to repost the quote and simply add, who I am is who I am but more importantly, who I am NOT is the victim anymore! 

Knowing I'm blessed and highly favored,
Lynnell

Still I Rise

 by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

New Beginning

I was in my kitchen a couple days ago trying to tidy up and a thought hit me, it was simply, "I am starting a new."  The weird thing is I had this feeling without consciously deciding to embark on a "New Beginning."  I hadn't decided to try a new exercise regime or diet change.  I hadn't decided I would start the week with a new anything.  Yet and still, as I swept the kitchen floor I felt I was embarking on a "New Beginning"  I had no plan or even a purpose for this path, I just knew and know I'm on it.  So being the mathematician I am, I started trying to analyze this clear indication that my feelings and emotions had delivered to my brain.  Searching the recent events in my life, I tried to pinpoint if this feeling was a result of the beginning of my new semester, another successful training trip, my hair getting done, the start of my birthday month, the new outfit I found on clearance or even the friend that told me in our last conversation to have a nice life and that it was in deed our last conversation. Though all these things seemed like they could be the culprit, none of them had occurred within the couple days of my sweeping the kitchen floor. So that's when the revelation hit me that all new beginnings aren't necessarily attributed to some on-purpose-decision to start a new or even an unexpected life in event.  But in fact that, the overwhelming feeling I got was because I had embarked on a New Beginning that chose me verses me choosing it.  Where the path leads and how it relates to my personal and professional goals I have no idea but am excited to make those connections as they unfold.

Moving forward in anticipation,
Lynnell

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” 
― Carl Bard

“[T]hat old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air ... Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year's mistakes had been wiped clean by summer.” 
― Wallace Stegner, Angle of Repose

“Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.” 
― L. Frank Baum