Rest, if you must, but don't you quit!

Thankfully, I have plenty of people that check on my progress not just virtually but in real time from conversations to text messages.  So this weekend, a good friend asked me what was up with the gym and how it was coming along.  Well I admitted that I'd only been there three times the past week and had also dropped my guard down with my eating habits.  Then their response was "..don't make me think you're a quitter."  That comment made my heart sink and cut like a knife.  Pointing out the obvious, helped me realize that while I was thinking I was having a small set back, the reality is that I had stepped away from my goals almost as if I was turning my back on them.  I could "explain" i.e. give excuses for why by sharing my recent stress but that matters not.  I started this journey to loose 100 pounds to finish it, not to quit.  

So interestingly, I had planned to blog about not quitting and sharing one of my favorite poems, "The Don't Quit Poem" the day before this exchange.  "When the road you're trudging seems all uphill...Rest, if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT" resonates with me.  Then the line "When he might have won had he stuck it out" is indicative of my other quest that I gave up and ended back where I started.  Then brining it home and close to heart, "So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that YOU MUST NOT QUIT."

I Will NOT Quit,
Lynnell

"It's never to late to become the person you might have been." - George Elliot

Putting in work

When things don't go as planned, you roll with the punches.  Sometimes pleasantly, other times miserably but you adjust and you move forward.

On more than a few occasions, my trainer had me run up a set of stairs make a lap past workout machines and then down a back set of stairs.  He stood at the bottom of the steps, saying "pick it up" as I repeated this five times.  But on one particular day, he changed it up a bit.  Each time I went up the steps he handed me something different.  The first set a pair of dumb bells for me to run with, the next time a 30lb bag to carry in front of me and then the third time a 20lb bag across my shoulders.  At the end of the third round, I thought I was done but he added 20 squats and then burst my bubble and told me do it all again so I repeated the weighted trio.   Now there is nothing I enjoy about any of these stair infused laps with or without additional weight so I won't even purger myself and indicate anything remotely amenable about this routine BUT (yes there is a but) I understand that they are a necessary evil that without his orders I wouldn't even think to endeavor let alone "pick it up".

This last week has been rough, my eating regime thwarted and my exercise routine disrupted but as I prepare for bed tonight, I know tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to start putting in some work, another chance to get back on track and get it right.

Headed to stronger and time to put up or shut up,
Lynnell

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Nothing nice to say

How many times have you said or heard, "My mother used to say, If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."?  I have over and over and have often said that statement myself in place of saying something that isn't too nice.  I have even approached this blog in the same vain telling a friend that I try to only write when I'm able to give something positive.  To take that statement a bit further, I believe once you put something out there, you can't take it back.  Now I understand people say things they wish they could take back and that's what an apology is for but the reality is once it's out there you don't know if an apology will remove it from the heart of the person impacted by it.  So for me, I try to only put out there what I mean.  If anything I do a lot more of not saying anything at all. So why this topic now, well holding things in has been a trigger for me over the years even including right now as I type.  Instead of cursing out who I need to curse out or telling off who I need to tell off, I try internally to diffuse my anger, disappointment or whatever negative emotion I'm struggling with.  Then the comfort food calls to comfort me because Mac n Cheese doesn't talk back and is there for my enjoyment.  Now I try to use better comfort food alternatives from an extra workout in the gym to relieve stress or retail clearance rack shopping which always boosts my mood when a new smaller size fits.  But I'm human and for the last week I've used food and alcohol, YES, believe it!  Though I haven't eaten Mac n Cheese or Bacon (which I feel great about),  I know that facing what is stressing me is the only way to a healthier me. Whether I will say those not so nice things or keep them to myself is yet to be seen but don't count me out.  There is power in words, I'm just trying to make sure I exercise my power responsibly.

Thinking,

Lynnell

"I have learned people will forget what you said, forget you did but people will never forget how you made them feel" - Maya Angelou

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Happy...

On the first I said Happy New Year to family, friends and strangers, on the 7th and 11th I said Happy Birthday to friends and on today the 13th I will say Happy Founder's Day to my sorors of Delta Sigma That Sorority, Inc. on the 100th Anniversary of the founding of our illustrious sisterhood. As the days go on and 2013 roars in like a lion, I imagine I will continue to wish other happy salutations to others as the months roll on. So what better way to start my first post of 2013 than "Happy..." I had thought about writing a reflection on 2012 when the new year started, maybe write down my top 12 accomplishments for the year or perhaps start my first post of 2013 with my top 13 goals for the year but instead I did neither. I started this blog to note my journey to getting off 100 pounds. I've posted about progress and been honest about the struggle and though 2012 brought me half way there, I'm still plugging away at it to get the other half done in 2013. I've learned a lot and as a life long learner, I'm proud of what I've learned as much as I am proud of what I have accomplished. As the New Year arrived so did more fitness gear at local stores, new classes started at the gym, and new "diet" books were released in time for the traditional New Years Resolution to get fit. People Magazine published their issue about people that lost half their size, I quickly snatched a copy and read all the bios. I paid particular attention to not just the weight lost but the weight loss method and the persons age and height, looking for a woman 5'2" in her forties that lost more than 100 pounds. After hearing more and more about Dr. Ian Smith's new book with the eating plan called Shred, I decided to join the Shredder Nation this coming week. It's a plan that is flexible enough that I can continue eating vegan while doing it but admittedly am considering adding fish to my food options.

Armed with a new eating plan, new class at the gym and a new post on my blog, let the countdown to drop 50 more pounds begin, Lynnell

“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”  ― Bernard M. Baruch

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” ― Harvey Fierstein

“Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got.” ― Janis Joplin