I will admit, I LOVE Thanksgiving!

So this is confession time, thanks to my Catholic up bringing, I'm heading into a virutal confessional tonight.  Lord have mercy, where this post will go, only You know... (Note To All:  I'm convinced my need to exploit my most intimate feelings is thanks to Sister Mary Catherine the third and Father John and the Pope too, but nonetheless here goes)

So I know that the historical context upon which Thanksgiving is based between the Pilgrims and the NATIVE AMERICANS can be a hot topic.  This post isn't to address that but to admit, I love Thanksgiving.  It is my favorite holiday.  Family and friends gathering together to STOP the rat race and enjoy a meal just means so much more to me than the over commercialized Christmas.  The fact that Black Friday has now overshadowed Thanksgiving with most stores openning on Thanksgiving Day with doorbusters that either took people away from family and friends to shop or in some cases skipped the family dinner all together, well it has me feeling some kind of way.  Nonetheless, yesterday I found myself realizing that just last year I was eating Vegan and didn't partake in the traditional meal. While this year though I ate turkey, I found my plate only included turkey, ham, green beans and cabbage.  I skipped the guilty pleasures of stuffing, gravy, mac n cheese and mashed potatoes, etc.  My favorite part was just being in my grandparents' homestead again with my mother's side of the family.  I found myself hanging out in the kitchen talking with my aunt.  I left feeling satisfied and connected to my mother (Bernice Johnson 1941-1994) and the many Thanksgivings we spent there.  Yes I love Thanksgiving, but not for the meal, but for the family and the love.

So here it's been months since my last post, but it hasn't been months since I've had something to share, believe me.  But let me bring you up to speed on where I am now on this journey and give my supporters a reason to support and my haters a reason to hate.

UPDATE:  I gave up my gym memebership for several reasons but I didn't give up on fitness.  I gained some pounds back after loosing my routine with the gym but each day I was trying to figure out a way to get back in the saddle.  I started a couch to 5k program in late August only to have it sidetrack by my daughter's hospital stay and work travel schedule.  Don't worry the hospital stay was short and all is well and I'm thankful for every trip ($$$) but life was happening faster than I could keep up.  I became a distributor for Plexus Slim since it was a product that was working well for me, I even have my own website:  www.inthepinknaturally.com.  Then I started searching for an in-home workout program.  At the same time that I was researching, I was contacted by a friend, Joyce who is a Team Beachbody coach.  After getting her recommendation, I decided to take another challenge with Les Mills Combat by Beachbody.  I hadn't heard of it before but when she inboxed me on facebook, she said she knew from our days in the gym together this was the right program for me.  So 6 days ago I took my Before pics and measurements and today I completed Day 5 of 60 of the Les Mills Combat program.  Having a DVD set with workout calendar will help temedously when I'm travelling.  All I have to do is push play, which I did today.  Now I know I'm at the beginning of the 60 day journey but as I told Joyce, the flatter my tummy gets, the shorter and tighter my News Year's Eve dress will be, LOL.  I'm joking of course ;-)  I feel amazing already with getting back into the saddle again.  Don't count me out yet, I still have some things to accomplish and I've not given up on my dreams if nothing else I'm dreaming in not just color but dolby stereo too.

Back in the saddle and loving life,
Lynnell

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." -- Oprah Winfrey

"Appreication can change a day, even change a life.  Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."  -- Margaret Cousins

Just Celebrated An Amazing 45th Birthday

I had an amazing 45th Birthday on Thursday, September 19, 2013.  I referenced this birthday in a previous post,  called it my "forty-fine" birthday.  I had made plans over a year ago that when I got to this one I would have dropped the 100 pounds.  Well life happened, I had some ups and downs but on my birthday I still felt "forty-fine". Some people even told me I definitely looked "forty-fine", lol.  See like many others, my weight loss journey has being affected by significant personal challenges which I had been struggling with for several years but earlier this year, I finally faced and addressed a major one.  In my January 13, 2013 blog post, I concluded as usual with a few quotes and this was one of them: 

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” ― Harvey Fierstein

I'm so thankful after having a great 45th Birthday, that I had to repost the quote and simply add, who I am is who I am but more importantly, who I am NOT is the victim anymore! 

Knowing I'm blessed and highly favored,
Lynnell

Still I Rise

 by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

New Beginning

I was in my kitchen a couple days ago trying to tidy up and a thought hit me, it was simply, "I am starting a new."  The weird thing is I had this feeling without consciously deciding to embark on a "New Beginning."  I hadn't decided to try a new exercise regime or diet change.  I hadn't decided I would start the week with a new anything.  Yet and still, as I swept the kitchen floor I felt I was embarking on a "New Beginning"  I had no plan or even a purpose for this path, I just knew and know I'm on it.  So being the mathematician I am, I started trying to analyze this clear indication that my feelings and emotions had delivered to my brain.  Searching the recent events in my life, I tried to pinpoint if this feeling was a result of the beginning of my new semester, another successful training trip, my hair getting done, the start of my birthday month, the new outfit I found on clearance or even the friend that told me in our last conversation to have a nice life and that it was in deed our last conversation. Though all these things seemed like they could be the culprit, none of them had occurred within the couple days of my sweeping the kitchen floor. So that's when the revelation hit me that all new beginnings aren't necessarily attributed to some on-purpose-decision to start a new or even an unexpected life in event.  But in fact that, the overwhelming feeling I got was because I had embarked on a New Beginning that chose me verses me choosing it.  Where the path leads and how it relates to my personal and professional goals I have no idea but am excited to make those connections as they unfold.

Moving forward in anticipation,
Lynnell

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” 
― Carl Bard

“[T]hat old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air ... Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year's mistakes had been wiped clean by summer.” 
― Wallace Stegner, Angle of Repose

“Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.” 
― L. Frank Baum

Reset now...Ready, Set, Go

This morning I reported to the July session of the Cardio Combat Class with a hearty greeting from the instructor Keith, who bellowed "the Champ is here!"  Everyone I hadn't seen for months asked me how I was all referring to me as "champ".  I couldn't have written a better beginning to my day if I tried.  (and as quiet as it's kept, I love to write, Shhhh!) It was a tough HARD AS HELL class and I almost pp'd also know as puked and passed out.  Fortunately I did neither but what better way to start out the month than challenging yourself off the break?  I have't been in the gym consistently in months and the times I've been I haven't pushed my self that hard.  I'm already looking forward to Wednesday.  I came home and posted the following on my fb page:

It's July 1, I'm looking for a few folks to enlist into my accountability team. Yes, YOU! Half of 2013 is over, I'm stepping it up to finish 2013 with my goal of losing 50 more pounds or equivalent body change still in my sight. Like my status if I can count on you to keep me accountable. Some of you already know you're enlisted. Looking for more!

Already several people have liked my status and one of my fb friends invited me into a private 30 day challenge group.  I logged everything I ate today on My Fitness Pal as well.  I feel I started the day off right.  So what better way to celebrate that small success than my secret space, the blog that was created to capture my journey as it unfolds.   2013 started 6 months ago but I'm going to make my mark in it right now.

Let's Do This,

Lynnell

"The distance between who I am and who I want to be is separated by only by my actions and words" - Unknown

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. " - Joseph Campbell

"Everyday begins like a blank chalkboard, on which each one of us can write the poem of our present and our dreams for the future" - Ricky Martin

Don't miss the message below the surface

You know when you start something and you get derailed, it's hard to restart your engine sometimes.  I think it depends on the derailment BUT if you listen closely and observe things on an abstract level, your answer is in the things you don't see.  See if you look at things on their surface as they are you can miss valuable connections, deeper conceptual understanding and the simple pleasures of life that warm your heart without over stimulating your brain sensors.

With such a fast paced world, a hectic daily routine, life roars like a lion.  Simply makes it easy to miss the aromas in the air, the patterns in the sky, the smiles of strangers, the concern of friends, the love you can't see, touch or feel.

So what's gotten into me, what's this have to do with my weight loss journey?  It's simple.  Three people without realizing they were helping me, helped me.  Okay I need to say more, I know.

#1 One of my gym buddies looks amazing and I saw that she recently ran in the Iron Girl.
#2 A stranger on the plane who travels 90% of the time for work talked to me about his love of going to the gym and how he went every day.  He manages to get it in regardless of being on the road for weeks at a time.
#3 A colleague of mine I hadn't seen since January told me about her smoothie regimen when she's on the road travelling.  She packs her magic bullet and buys fruit, kale, almond butter, greek yogurt, etc.  when she gets to her destination so she can make smoothies for breakfast and lunch then she eats what she wants for dinner.  She actually made me one.

See normally I'd see these on the surface, not really relate them to me but I'm choosing to look beyond the facts of these encounters.  I don't see these as things to do necessarily though.  Will I try to exercise on the road? Yes! Will I try to run a 5k this year? Yes! Will I try eat sensibly on the road? Yes!  Duplicating their efforts isn't my goal, but I do know that my journey is important. In some ways it's as important to me as others who follow me and hear my story whether they relate on a shallow level or a deeper one, it matters.  It matters to me just as those people and many others matter to me.

Looking through rose colored glasses,
Lynnell

"If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges."  -  Pat Riley

"A positive attitude is not going to save you. What it's going to do is, everyday, between now and the day you die, whether that's a short time from now or a long time from now, that every day, you're going to actually live." - Elizabeth Edwards

The Journey Continues...of course

I had a fabulous 21 Day Journey earlier this month. Now that doesn't mean I had a perfect record with keeping my daily goals, even though most days I did, I'm calling it fabulous because of the growth I experienced in the daily journey.  Next up...Self-Love.  May is just a couple days away, I think I'm focussing my efforts in May on flowering self-love as defined by Lynnell!  Stay tuned, the journey continues as long as I have breath I have an opportunity to bless!

Love you!
Lynnell

"I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear." - Oprah Winfrey

"Remember the two benefits of failure.  First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work; and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach." - Roger Von Oech

"Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door." - Emily Dickinson

Day 16 of 21

This was a tough day, but I'm choosing to end this day sharing a bit of me.  I'm on the homestretch of my 21 Day Journey, life happens and we keep moving because without movement there is no progress.

My Life is Better than a Fairytale

by: Lynnell

Fairytales are stories with happy endings

Where everything works out in the end

There is a good that evil seeks to destroy

Evil may capture good but it's only temporary

For we all know that at the end of the fairytale

A hero emerges to save the day

They outwit and conquer evil 

Good wins and lives happily ever after

Each moment of my life I realize

My Life is Better than a Fairytale

I haven't been put to sleep by an evil witch

Or captured under the spell of one either

I haven't been tricked to spin gold from thread

My hair hasn't been needed as a rope 

Nor have I had to kiss a toad

Why?  It's simple...

My Life is Better than a Fairytale

Now don't get me wrong, 

I've had plenty of moments that I thought evil was attacking me

Only to find that I could combat it

Not lay in wait, not look for a toad

When I needed the armor of love or friendship

To help fight those battles they were always there for me

Giving courage, giving me strength, giving evidence that

My Life is Better than a Fairytale

One of those moments when I felt under attack,

I wrote to myself in a journal: 

"When I realized that I was my own night in shining armor, 

I had to power to save myself."

It was my inner strength connecting with my outer strength

Reminding me that I dream in color for a reason

I believe in rainbows in all seasons and 

MY love is infinite not an infinitesimal

My Life is Better than a Fairytale

Thanks for letting me share!
- Lynnell

"When I realized that I was my own night in shining armor, I had to power to save myself."

- Lynnell Matthews

Day 11 of 21 - My 21 Day Journey Revealed

Today is the midway point or maybe I could even call it the tipping point of my 21 Day Journey.  I decided today to reveal the specifics of my 21 Day Journey now that I've completed half of it and have half to go.

My 21 Day Journey has three major parts:

1. 21 Day Journey Back to Vegan - I had originally planned to do the Daniel Fast and started with the basic food rules but after reading the starter kit after a week into it, I realized I wasn't focussing on the overall purpose of the Daniel fast but only the food rules.  So though I am maintaining most of the eating principles, which is a vegan diet with some additional restrictions, I decided to read more about the Daniel Fast and start it another time on the right foot verses how I had begun.
2. 21 Day Financial Fast - Based upon Michelle Singletary's book, The Power to Prosper, that I just happened to start reading (listening to via audio book) just a few days before April 1.  I knew I needed to add this component to my journey after the first chapter.  I have been needing to put my foot down and make changes to get my financial well being in better order.  During the fast I focus on spending only on things I need.  It's been a blessing since this month I've been struggling to make ends meet and it's not even the middle of the month yet.  
3. 21 Days of Fitness (except Sundays unless I swap it out for another day of the week of course) - The last few months I've missed more days away from the gym than in the gym.  So I recommitted to working out at the gym 6 days a week for the next 21 days.  I miss the workouts and the people.  Improving my health both physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually are a priority for me and being away from the gym was weakening me on several levels.  So no journey of mine would be complete without including my re-emergence on the fitness scene.  I've already picked out a 5k race I will run in May and have my eye on others as the year progresses.  Running a marathon and completing a triathlon are on my bucket list, no time like the present to start planning and training for it.  2013 is still young and so am I!

So there you have it, what I've been up to the last 11 days and on into the next 10.  

Ten days to go and so much more ahead that I can hardly wait,

- Lynnell

"Success is a journey, not a destination.  The doing is often more important than the outcome."

- Arthur Ashe

"Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life."

-Pythagoras

Day 8 of 21

It's been a few days since my last post but by no means does that mean the journey has stopped or even been derailed.  There have been challenges and joys.  I have a personal journal that I've written in daily keeping track of both.  As I start the second week, I reflect on the goals initially set and my plan of action.  Making adjustments as needed and pushing forward nonetheless.  I hadn't disclosed the details of the journey at his point, I had thought I would by now but as I write I know it's not the time.

Moving along as planned,
Lynnell

"Even if you fall on your face, you'll still moving forward." - Victor Kiam

Day 4 of 21

When you start out on a journey that includes fasting, seems the things you set out to resist make themselves even more available.  Four days in and so far so good.

Staying the course,
Lynnell

"Slow and Steady wins the race." - Aesop

Day 3 of 21

Just three days in and challenges of more things to do than time to do them  has already set in.  None the less I press forward.  Until the day has ended I will keep focussed and look for opportunities to get it in.

My 21 Day Journey has THREE major parts and it is a true test of my tenacity to keep focussed on remaining true to all three.

Tenaciously pressing forward,
Lynnell

"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal.  My strength lies solely in my tenacity."
- Louis Pasteur

Day 2 of 21

Day 2 started at 6am and I've been running ever since, just got home and it's after 9pm.  So my lesson for the day is to pace myself.  I had a productive day and though I had a long day, I stayed the course.  Now for some rest to see what Day 3 brings!

Pacing myself,
Lynnell

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day 1 of 21

A journey has a beginning and an end.  Even with a laid out action plan of how to get from point A to point B, the moment by moment implementation can be filled with unanticipated challenges and joys.  Today I begin a 21 Day Journey, I choose not to reveal the specifics in my blog just yet but take a moment to declare myself at the starting line and as the morning sun rose, so have I risen for my 21 Day Journey.

Who I've been doesn't have to define who I am anymore,
Lynnell

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” 
― Ernest Hemingway

Ash Wednesday = Lenten Promise

For as long as I can remember I've been giving up some type of food for my Lenten sacrifice.  I was raised Catholic so I always gave up a favorite food.  This season I am giving up coffee and adding something. Funny thing is I can't decide what to add and here it is now the day after Ash Wednesday.  I am giving myself until Friday since I fell asleep yesterday without committing to a new good habit.  The two I'm considering are adding 1) those morning push ups and sit ups I've been planning to add to my exercise routine for months now or 2) random acts of kindness from treating a stranger when in line to surprising my kids with something new.  Of course I could do both so in 24 hours I will decide and go for it. Easter is March 31st.  The contest at the gym ends April 6th, yes I entered another 2-Month challenge.

It's mid-February and time is moving with or without me.  I also don't want April 15th to get here and I'm looking back regretfully for not making the most of each day.  Set backs, hiccups, mistakes, stumbling blocks don't take days off, so why should I?

Just decided I will do BOTH!
Lynnell

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!” 
― Bob Marley

My new eating plan!

Source: goodbyebabylon.tumblr.com via Lynnell on Pinterest

After seeing this posted on Pinterest, I had a eureka moment.  I've been trying to follow a new eating plan since yesterday and am already struggling with barely 24 hours in.  So I've been eating less because I've not fully embraced the new change.  One thing I didn't do was prepare for it well by shopping for a weeks worth of groceries.  I did remove items from my pantry that I wouldn't eat but didn't replenish the shelves so that I could make this week a lot easier on myself.  I decided to try the Paleo eating style for 30 days having found a site that said to do just that, try it for 30 days and see what effects it has on your body.  I printed out a list of do and don't eat foods and even put it on the frig but without the second piece of preparing for the week, I'm off to a rocky start.  But after stumbling across the Pinterest post above, "The key to eating healthy?  Avoid any food that has a TV commercial", it was like a light bulb went off letting me know it's okay, just make the best food choices you can until you get the hang of Paleo (and/or frig/pantry stocked up).  I've never seen a commercial for lettuce, kale, strawberries or many other fruits and vegetables.  Today will be a good eating day, just have to remember to make the best eating choices under the circumstances I'm in at all times.

It's lunch time and I am hungry,
Lynnell

Source: goodbyebabylon.tumblr.com via Lynnell on Pinterest

Knowing What Works For You and Staying True To It

It's five days into February and I'm feeling pretty good about the start of the month but I am already making adjustments to make sure I end the month stronger + fitter + healthier = sexier.  I need a change in my eating plan as much as I needed a change in my exercise routine.  I had been eating a vegan diet for about 8 months, but not because I had adopted a vegan lifestyle.  It started as a 21-Day detox and I played around with it off and on after that until I found myself saying "I eat vegan" at every offer of fried meats and homemade macaroni and cheese.  So as a result, I don't really miss meat and dairy but find that I need something else because I'm making a lifestyle change and I'm not sure I've bought into the idea that I will eat vegan for life.

So I started looking into other ways of changing my "eating style".  I considered trying the Shred diet, I've been doing research on the Paleo diet, then there is also Clean Eating and the Belly Fat Cure.  Now that by no means is the list of all the things I've tried in the past.  For example, Weight Watcher's Online is missing, MyFitnessPal, SparkPeople and LoseIt are the free online food journal/calorie counters I've tried too.  Well I say all this to say, I know what works for me and I need to stay true to it.  See I do much better with eating styles that include rules of what you eat verses ones that have you journal every bite you eat.  Food journalling diets are very successful BUT FOR ME, I was thinking about food more and also I tended to eat "bad" foods more because they were allowed.  Meaning, I ate empty calories because I could because I could "budget" them in.  Verses with rules, it was easier to decline the foods if I they aren't on my "list" of acceptable foods.  Now the diets where you are given specific meals to eat each day don't work for me only because I'm not good at planning well enough in advance to have all the foods on hand.  I much prefer to have foods I eat in the frig and make a "game time decision" about what I'm eating at that moment.  I guess it makes me feel spontaneous, LOL.  Maybe that makes me an "ad lib dieter" or a "spontaneous eater".  I don't know, but having a catchy phrase for it doesn't matter, what matters is that I know what works for me and I need to stay true to it. ;-)

Time for dinner so let me go check the frig (LOL),
Lynnell

"Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it."  - Hardy D. Jackson

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song" - Maya Angelou

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway.  You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Beginning of the month

It's the first, February 1st in particular (Happy Birthday to my sister Bernita).  A lot of things transpire at the first of the month.  You may think of mortgage/rent payments like I do or some other monthly obligation that is expected to be removed from your bank account. But let's consider for a moment, that the first of each month is a new beginning, a new opportunity to get it done what you didn't last month.  Or a perfect time to start a new hobby, new career, new relationship OR in my case a new workout regimen.  How about try a new food (vegetable, maybe Okra), try a new lipstick color, try a new cologne fragrance, try a new hair cut.  What about purging things that you haven't touched in over a month, let alone the things you haven't for over a year or even the last ten years.  First of the month, spend a moment to reflect, ponder then plan your attack!

Yes it's the first of the month and my plan for February is to live it on purpose, I've pulled out my calendar written my workout goals and my eating plan first before the work deadlines, kids activities, birthdays or social plans.

I have started my countdown to April 15th! Yes we all know what's due on April 15th, but this April 15th 2013 is the date my best friend and I set last year to reach our fitness goals.  This year we both turn 45 or as we call it Forty Fine, she already has and I'm headed there so April 15th is the date that's in the middle of our 45th birthdays this year.

No more excuses, it's the first of the month, no better time to take things up a notch than NOW,
Lynnell

"What a caterpillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly." - Lao Tzu

"Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it." - Goethe

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." 

- Maria Robinson

Rest, if you must, but don't you quit!

Thankfully, I have plenty of people that check on my progress not just virtually but in real time from conversations to text messages.  So this weekend, a good friend asked me what was up with the gym and how it was coming along.  Well I admitted that I'd only been there three times the past week and had also dropped my guard down with my eating habits.  Then their response was "..don't make me think you're a quitter."  That comment made my heart sink and cut like a knife.  Pointing out the obvious, helped me realize that while I was thinking I was having a small set back, the reality is that I had stepped away from my goals almost as if I was turning my back on them.  I could "explain" i.e. give excuses for why by sharing my recent stress but that matters not.  I started this journey to loose 100 pounds to finish it, not to quit.  

So interestingly, I had planned to blog about not quitting and sharing one of my favorite poems, "The Don't Quit Poem" the day before this exchange.  "When the road you're trudging seems all uphill...Rest, if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT" resonates with me.  Then the line "When he might have won had he stuck it out" is indicative of my other quest that I gave up and ended back where I started.  Then brining it home and close to heart, "So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that YOU MUST NOT QUIT."

I Will NOT Quit,
Lynnell

"It's never to late to become the person you might have been." - George Elliot

Putting in work

When things don't go as planned, you roll with the punches.  Sometimes pleasantly, other times miserably but you adjust and you move forward.

On more than a few occasions, my trainer had me run up a set of stairs make a lap past workout machines and then down a back set of stairs.  He stood at the bottom of the steps, saying "pick it up" as I repeated this five times.  But on one particular day, he changed it up a bit.  Each time I went up the steps he handed me something different.  The first set a pair of dumb bells for me to run with, the next time a 30lb bag to carry in front of me and then the third time a 20lb bag across my shoulders.  At the end of the third round, I thought I was done but he added 20 squats and then burst my bubble and told me do it all again so I repeated the weighted trio.   Now there is nothing I enjoy about any of these stair infused laps with or without additional weight so I won't even purger myself and indicate anything remotely amenable about this routine BUT (yes there is a but) I understand that they are a necessary evil that without his orders I wouldn't even think to endeavor let alone "pick it up".

This last week has been rough, my eating regime thwarted and my exercise routine disrupted but as I prepare for bed tonight, I know tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to start putting in some work, another chance to get back on track and get it right.

Headed to stronger and time to put up or shut up,
Lynnell

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Nothing nice to say

How many times have you said or heard, "My mother used to say, If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."?  I have over and over and have often said that statement myself in place of saying something that isn't too nice.  I have even approached this blog in the same vain telling a friend that I try to only write when I'm able to give something positive.  To take that statement a bit further, I believe once you put something out there, you can't take it back.  Now I understand people say things they wish they could take back and that's what an apology is for but the reality is once it's out there you don't know if an apology will remove it from the heart of the person impacted by it.  So for me, I try to only put out there what I mean.  If anything I do a lot more of not saying anything at all. So why this topic now, well holding things in has been a trigger for me over the years even including right now as I type.  Instead of cursing out who I need to curse out or telling off who I need to tell off, I try internally to diffuse my anger, disappointment or whatever negative emotion I'm struggling with.  Then the comfort food calls to comfort me because Mac n Cheese doesn't talk back and is there for my enjoyment.  Now I try to use better comfort food alternatives from an extra workout in the gym to relieve stress or retail clearance rack shopping which always boosts my mood when a new smaller size fits.  But I'm human and for the last week I've used food and alcohol, YES, believe it!  Though I haven't eaten Mac n Cheese or Bacon (which I feel great about),  I know that facing what is stressing me is the only way to a healthier me. Whether I will say those not so nice things or keep them to myself is yet to be seen but don't count me out.  There is power in words, I'm just trying to make sure I exercise my power responsibly.

Thinking,

Lynnell

"I have learned people will forget what you said, forget you did but people will never forget how you made them feel" - Maya Angelou

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Happy...

On the first I said Happy New Year to family, friends and strangers, on the 7th and 11th I said Happy Birthday to friends and on today the 13th I will say Happy Founder's Day to my sorors of Delta Sigma That Sorority, Inc. on the 100th Anniversary of the founding of our illustrious sisterhood. As the days go on and 2013 roars in like a lion, I imagine I will continue to wish other happy salutations to others as the months roll on. So what better way to start my first post of 2013 than "Happy..." I had thought about writing a reflection on 2012 when the new year started, maybe write down my top 12 accomplishments for the year or perhaps start my first post of 2013 with my top 13 goals for the year but instead I did neither. I started this blog to note my journey to getting off 100 pounds. I've posted about progress and been honest about the struggle and though 2012 brought me half way there, I'm still plugging away at it to get the other half done in 2013. I've learned a lot and as a life long learner, I'm proud of what I've learned as much as I am proud of what I have accomplished. As the New Year arrived so did more fitness gear at local stores, new classes started at the gym, and new "diet" books were released in time for the traditional New Years Resolution to get fit. People Magazine published their issue about people that lost half their size, I quickly snatched a copy and read all the bios. I paid particular attention to not just the weight lost but the weight loss method and the persons age and height, looking for a woman 5'2" in her forties that lost more than 100 pounds. After hearing more and more about Dr. Ian Smith's new book with the eating plan called Shred, I decided to join the Shredder Nation this coming week. It's a plan that is flexible enough that I can continue eating vegan while doing it but admittedly am considering adding fish to my food options.

Armed with a new eating plan, new class at the gym and a new post on my blog, let the countdown to drop 50 more pounds begin, Lynnell

“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”  ― Bernard M. Baruch

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” ― Harvey Fierstein

“Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got.” ― Janis Joplin